0 Home Sweet Home, but Really...

For reasons far beyond my understanding, my path crosses with some very interesting people. I'm in Las Cruces, NM now, having shown our new documentary, "It's All About the Children," to one of the women in it and to a small group of educators. I'm also filming interviews with "non-homeless" homeless families/youth, those staying in motels or doubled up with others for the HEAR US Learning Curve Express project.

One of the outreach team put me in contact with a young mother with 5 little boys under the age of 7 staying in a local motel. Tina was more than willing and able to talk about her predicament.So I went to interview her imagining what a motel room with 5 young boys would be like.

This young mom with "deer-in-the-headlights" eyes and a soft voice let me in. As we introduced ourselves I saw 2 of her 5 asleep on the double beds. The other 3 were with her mother. She assured me the little guys would sleep through more noise than we'd make, so I set up and began the interview.

Domestic violence, no stranger to any income bracket, ethnicity, religion, education level, or part of the country, was the initial cause of homelessness. Last weekend she got tossed from the DV shelter, for reasons not relevant to this discussion. Tina's mother had packed up her life and moved here to be a support for her daughter. Something tells me she has some firsthand knowledge of these too-common struggles.

When Tina and the boys were ousted from the shelter, they had nowhere to go. Tina's mom was living in a 13' travel trailer, a humble abode if I ever saw one. So she bought another cheap one for herself and let Tina and the kids stay in the tiny one. All chilly weekend, no electricity or water. Propane-powered oven (DANGEROUS) providing some warmth, augmented by body heat. Someone from the school got wind of it, and the school put them in a motel for3 nights until a better plan materialized.

Friday noon was checkout time, and things got pretty dicey. Help for this family was slow to develop. Eventually donors came up with enough money to put the little trailer on a RV pad, with electric, water and sewer. Her mom lives nearby in the same park, close enough to help out with childcare, transportation and moral support. 

When faced with sleeping on the streets with her children, Tina scrounged for help. I verified, it was not available. The stimulus money for Rapid Rehousing--she was #90 on the list, a wait of between 3-9 months. The only other place was the mission, and I understand a shelter-shy Tina, especially because the mission, with mostly men, has had its share of troubles, including a murder of one woman resident by another last year.


Tina has plans to finish her GED, and get further training to get a good job. I don't want to discourage her. But according to the National Low Income Housing Coalition, to afford fair market rent for a 3-bedroom apartment in Las Cruces she'll need an income of $30k+. 

Now, I know that's the theory, and the reality is different, and she'll probably be able to find something cheaper. But with the economy, the job market, the lack of child care, and what is likely her need for counseling, that's a pretty steep mountain to climb with 5 pairs of hands holding onto you. 

Seems to me a woman who tumbles from a horrible violent marriage should have it better than landing in a pile of rubble that makes her think going back to her abuser is a better option. She and the kids deserve a helping hand. I'm not begrudging the outpouring of compassion the long-suffering people of Haiti are receiving. I just think that ignoring the growing number of poor families in this country might be a disaster too big for us to dig out from under.  

Detail: Home Sweet Home, but Really...

0 Caumoflaged Homelessness

With all the talk about PTSD-suffering military veterans, I'd like to take the discussion a step further--to families of beleaguered soldiers. From conversations I've had with military wives, I believe another invisible tragedy is unfolding.

The parent--often, but not always the mom--ends up leaving an abusive spouse-soldier, something the military doesn't talk about much. When mom and kids move out of base housing, leaving a volatile situation, sometimes they end up moving in with friends or family because the mom doesn't have enough income to get a place on her own. Losing housing due to hardship can often be defined as "homeless," even when the family moves in with others, called doubling-up.

One woman at a presentation I did recently came up afterward and thanked me for sharing the info on McKinney-Vento Homeless Education rights. She painfully shared that she's planning to divorce her military husband and, unless she lands a job that can support the family, they too may be homeless.

Now, isn't that a sad state of affairs, as military spouses and children join the ranks of our nation's homeless population because they fear for their safety staying with their PTSD-suffering spouse?

The courageous spokesperson Julianna has shared her similar story (most recently at a domestic violence rally in AZ) about an abusive spouse in the military, relating the conundrum that military spouses find themselves in when it comes to DV. The military takes care of its own, and that can mean that the mom and kids get tossed to the street.

In Julianna's case, the final split took place after the parents left the military, but she had checked out the so-called safety net while they were on base, and it was too frightening. So she remained in a horrible situation until it hit the tipping point. Her resolve to leave was bolstered when her kids' condition--that they could stay in their same schools--was met thanks to McK-V.

I'd love to hear from people with direct knowledge about military spouses who leave a bad situation and become homeless--moving in with others, into motels, or landing in shelters or on the streets. What's the best way to get information to this population so they at least understand how to get/keep their kids in school?

Seems to me we need to stem the tide of homelessness that threatens the well-being of more and more kids and parents, and single adults. With the military, they have a strong obligation to their troops and their families. Keeping them from homelessness should be at the top of the list.

Detail: Caumoflaged Homelessness

0 Clueless In America

South Korea is quite a distance from Reno, NV. So, as I sat last night at dinner talking with the 3-person team of the South Korean MBC news crew, it was fascinating to explore homelessness in S Korea as they queried me about America's homeless adults and children.


The same is true in SK as in the USA--invisible homeless families and teens escape notice, much to their detriment.


They have domestic violence in SK, but women tend to stay with their abusive spouses. They have house fires and other disasters that displace families, forcing them to double-up with relatives or friends.


A few key differences--housing costs are more affordable and medical expenses are far less than this country.


But they talk about greed and extreme wealth there in similar ways that some of us see this pervasive condition in America.


We visited a local shelter program that helps families. They are only able to serve 3 families at a time, and folks can only come in at 6 and must leave in the early morning hours so the church can be used for its daily purpose. Generous volunteers make this stop-gap service possible.


The director said they have a waiting list of 40 families which doesn't include the number of families requesting help that just don't get on the list.


Reno has a new state-of-the-art mens' shelter, part of the federal government's much-heralded "Ten Year Plan to End Homelessness," better known as the clear out the visible homeless adults plan. The feds don't want to include families in their definition of homelessness fearing "opening the floodgates."


Seems to me that in a city of decadent gambling, entertainment and dining, the proverbial crumbs from the tables could be gathered to assist families who live in dreadful conditions, in all forms of homelessness. Instead we're growing a future crop of homeless adults by ignoring families today.

Detail: Clueless In America